Arming Parents

When a movie like “The Golden Compass” comes out it always reminds me of the importance of arming the parents and children of our ministries with the Biblical knowledge to make the right choices.  Our best defense is offense; teaching and equipping parents, giving children Biblical truth BEFORE an issue surfaces and preparing them to deal with the challenges they might face.

One of our challenges as children’s leaders is providing good resources to our parents so they too are armed with this valuable information.  Another challenge is helping parents realize the significant part they play in developing their children’s worldview pertaining to healthy decision making abilities.  As you work towards equipping parents and arming children, I think it is vital to keep the following points in view:

1. It all begins with relationship.
   

   1. There are three specific relationships that are vital to helping children make wise choices.

   2. Relationship between the children’s leader, and parents and children.
      To have a platform to speak into the lives of parents and children we have to first have a relationship with the parents and children we minister to. Being on the offense means that these relationships have been built from the very first day a leader starts in a church in ministry. For a leader, relationship means getting to know your parents and children and making your ministry personal.  It also means taking time to care for their individual needs. The saying “people are more important than the program” effects the relationships you build. The statement “they don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” is also very accurate.

   3. Relationship between parents and children.
      We need to encourage our parents to keep the lines of communication open with their children; it is important to keep the relationship with their children strong. Children need to know that they are able to talk to their parents about anything. Parents should be armed and knowledgeable about what’s going on in the world today and equipped with solid Biblical answers for their children. Parents also need to balance being their child’s friend with the Biblical mandate to first be their parent and secondly be their friend.

   4. The relationship between the child and God

2. Provide a solid Biblical defense

   “Because I said so” was once a valid answer we could use to defend issues like personal choice to our kids. In the world we live in, this justification no longer works. Our job as leaders is to provide the children we minister to a roadmap to assist them in this journey. Reality tells us that children are faced with heavy choices everyday. Reality also says that when children are away from their parents and away from the church, they are going to have to make those heavy choices on their own; parents and leaders won’t be there to help them. The only way that children are going to make wise choices is if they have a deep understanding of God’s word, know how to apply it to their everyday lives and understand ho to formulate their own ideas based on its application and understanding.  As leaders we need to look at each child we minister to and realize they too are on a spiritual journey, a journey called spiritual formation. Our job is to have a plan, be intentional and equip them!  

   Here are some scriptures that you can teach on in regards to wise choices:

   • Psalm 40:9-10
   • Psalm 53:1
   • 1 Corinthians 1:19-21
   • 1 Corinthians 3:18
   • 2 Corinthians 2:11
   • 2 Corinthians 11:3, 14-15
   • Ephesians 6: 11-12
   • 1 Timothy 4:1
   • 1 Peter 5:8-9
   • 1 John 5:19

3. How do we effectively arm and equip parents
   
   
   1. Network Your Parents
      Let’s face it, our kids can’t drive.  The plain and simple fact exists that if we don’t bring parents alongside us in our ministry goals and mission, many of our children won’t have a way to attend our services!  If we are going to bring our parents alongside us in our mission, we need to provide them with information.  What first time father doesn’t appreciate the guidance and help from another man who has “been there and done that”?  How many first time mothers don’t appreciate kind words and affection when they’ve just had their first-born?  We need to be a network for our parents… it doesn’t mean WE have to individually provide for all of their needs, but we do need to facilitate the interaction so they can stand on their own two feet.
      
      
   2. Provide Training
      If you want to specifically teach your children something, bring in your parents.  They can be your greatest resource and strongest advocates!  Who wouldn’t want a room full of supportive parents behind your vision?  Hands-on learning, volunteering and team-work are some of the most practical (and simple) training tools we have available as children’s leaders.  We need to inform our parents about the issues we’re facing and then take the next step; train them in how to handle the specific situation!
      
      
4. Resources that you can provide

   There are many incredible resources that you have available at your fingertips and I am not only talking about the internet!  Your senior and associate pastors, children’s ministries team and your parents have a wealth of knowledge and life experience to offer that can help you in your quest to equip your kids – if only you are willing to ask.  You can also discover a world of information and other resources available to you in libraries, online and over the phone.  Resources don’t have to mean BIG budgets, sound boards and flashy lights – use what you have available to you and believe that God, who knows your heart and your needs, will equip you to fulfill the job He has set before you!