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The Power of Disciplines
From the Desk of David Boyd, National BGMC Director
In August of 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit the New Orleans area. Hundreds of thousands of people’s lives were impacted and hundreds perished, not from being hit by a hurricane, but by the weight of the water left behind by the hurricane exerting pressure on the levies and exposing the weakest structural flaws. the levies have always stood to protect the people of New Orleans from most storms, but they were not built to withstand the force brought by Katrina.
Likewise, leadership disciplines fortify the ministry of spiritual leaders. Without proper depth of discipline, the weight of today’s cultural changes and challenges can burst through the weakest fortifications. However, with proper discipline, there is a God-given power available to help the leader walk through life’s toughest times.
Learned disciplines are the art of doing the right things in the moment of decision. This ability is developed through a long-time practice of making the right decisions, thus fortifying one’s life for such difficult moments. The broken levies of New Orleans occurred because they had been determined to be strong and stable enough. And yet they didn’t hold in a time of crisis. Children’s leaders must be strong and stable enough to stand up through the conflicts of life. They must have the passion to continue to reach lost kids. They must have a deep commitment to seeing kids’ lives truly transformed into a life-lasting relationship with Christ. They must be committed to integrity and holiness as they stand as an example to those they lead.
Children’s leaders are mentors to those they lead. Children are soft clay—totally impressionable. They are more than willing to take on the attributes of those who invest in their lives. Leaders must exemplify Christ in everything they do for and with those children.
This series of lessons will serve to remind the children’s leader of the many disciplines required to fulfill a godly position as a leader and mentor to the next generation. They should serve as a constant reminder to us of the life that was lived by our greatest mentor—Jesus Christ.
Now go, make a difference.
All of us expect to be treated with decency by those around us. Each of us can remember a time when a waitress gave poor service by serving rudely or with a careless attitude. Each of us can remember a teacher or clerk who acted rudely as well. Decency is proven out by how each person lives his or her life. Children’s leaders and pastors must be people of decency. Our love and concern for fellow staff members, leaders, and parents must be genuine. Our actions must be expressed with respect and courtesy. Decency is the ability to treat people with respect. Children’s leaders show decency in the way they care for others.
Children’s ministry, perhaps like no other area of church ministries, requires a team. No matter when the church doors are open or what the activity is, children are usually present. Ministry must take place for these children. Due to an ever-multiplying number of children’s ministry needs, large numbers of staff are required. Even for the small church, there is a need for someone to care for the babies, toddlers, middlers and preteens, whether it is during Sunday School, morning worship, midweek services, special events, or whatever activities the church may have. Treating workers with respect—realizing their schedules and needs as they volunteer their time; realizing the everyday stresses and pressures they face—is critical to treating them with decency.
Often children’s ministries leaders face an inner struggle between the value of the person involved in ministry and the value of the ministry being done by the person. This can be especially difficult when the individual chooses to step down from his or her ministry, or take a break. The leader is faced with the dilemma of losing the team member who is performing a vital function and trying to determine the needs of the individual who is stepping down. Without the discipline of decency, many children’s leaders fall prey to their own emotions and chastise the individual for quitting. Rather, a decent leader strives to ascertain the true nature of the situation that caused the individual to step down. Discovering what is truly best for the individual is the goal of a children’s leader who strives to do the right and decent thing.
Another aspect of treating people with decency involves the expectations placed upon others. One rule of thumb is to never put upon someone else that which you wouldn’t place upon yourself. This is usually a good rule, although sometimes there are those who drive themselves past their limit and drive others there as well. The children’s leader must guard against abusing the time of those who minister. Often books on pastoral leadership will tell pastors to guard their weekly day off, since they need that day for rejuvenation. However, when it comes to those who serve on our teams, we sometimes abuse their days off. A balance must be struck. It’s vital to not overwork volunteer team members by trying to do every event and activity that every other church in town is carrying out.
Creative scheduling for meetings and training is a key to treating leaders with decency. Rather than schedule trainings and meetings on extra nights of the week, schedule meetings on Sunday afternoon after church. Provide a quick inexpensive lunch, like spaghetti, and work in a training session during the time the average family is waiting in line at the local restaurant. Also, avoid trying to do too much! Choose carefully the activities you hold and the events you plan. Each of these causes extra time and effort by your team. Guard their time as you guard your own and you will be treating them with decency.
Give volunteers a say in the event planning for the children’s ministry. Individuals in today’s culture are much more apt to get involved if they had a chance to be a part of the initial planning. Rather than having to browbeat individuals to participate, those who helped plan an event are much more likely to volunteer to take part. Robert Lewis and Wayne Cordeiro, in the book Culture Shift, say it this way: “Always keep in mind that good shepherds don’t beat their sheep. It’s better to lead and persuade people than to drive them.”
Decency breeds a positive culture on the children’s ministries team. Individuals who have been treated with decency by their leader are much more apt to be loyal, long-lasting team members. Long-lasting team members become more and more valuable as their skills grow through experience. They, in turn, spread the culture of decency among all those they serve. In one church this author served, the senior pastor asked, “Why do all the new families want to join the children’s ministries team?” The answer was obvious. The children’s ministries team was a unified family group within the church as a whole. The team members were friends with one another. They worked together, laughed together, and prayed together. Everyone is attracted to joining a team like that.
Conversely, in many churches the children’s pastors or leaders in charge of the children’s ministries have struggled with building their teams. In talking with these children’s leaders, it is easy to imagine why. Guilt is used to keep team members in place—making them feel trapped in their ministry. Leaders are told that if they want to take a vacation, they must find their own replacement. When team members quit, they are publicly chastised for leaving the ministry. Who would want to join a culture like that? In these churches, team members are burned out one by one—never to be involved in children’s ministry again.
Treating team members with decency takes time and hard work. It begins by deciding if the church is doing too much. Sometimes purposeful changes in scheduling must occur in order to give people breaks. For example, hold a large-group ministry in place of small-group Sunday School classes during eight weeks of the summer. This gives the Sunday School leaders a break and shows that you care about their personal lives. At other times it may mean giving a season off.
Once Julie came to me after a Wednesday evening service and explained that she needed to quit her Wednesday-night teaching role. Upon asking why, she explained that with all the stress she had at work, she just felt she needed to be in the Wednesday night service to be fed. Rather than chastising her and reminding her that she could be fed on Sunday morning and Sunday night, I suggested that rather than quitting, we give her a 90-day sabbatical, with the understanding that at the end of the 90 days, if she felt she needed to permanently step down, she could. It is quite interesting what occurred. The other leaders surrounded her with love and care during this time of her sabbatical. Some sent her cards and others called her on the phone. She enjoyed the extra service, but realized the greater enjoyment of being part of the family of volunteers. She was back before the end of her sabbatical. The whole church learned about the culture of the children’s ministries team. It was one of concern for the individual. It was one of decency. Begin to set the culture where you serve.
Now go, make a difference.
Robert Lewis and Wayne Cordeiro, Culture Shift (San Fansisco, Ca.: Jossy-Bass 2005) 67. |
