Brother to Brother

From the Desk of David Boyd, National BGMC Director

E-mail is a modern convenience, but it has great potential for conflict. If someone wrote you and stated, “If that’s the best you can do, I’ll accept it.” Are they pleased that you have done your best, or are they accepting something as half rate, all-the-while believing that you didn’t do the greatest job? E-mail can cause you to think someone is upset with you, insulting you, or badgering you—when possibly nothing of the kind was intended.

Matthew 18:15-17. We all know what’s there. It’s that passage that reminds us to go directly to our brother if we have conflict with him. We wish people would do that with us, yet we often don’t do that with others. What do we do? We go to a third party. We tell them we have been hurt, offended, insulted, or treated wrongly. In doing so we break these biblical commands.

Isn’t it interesting that Matthew 18:15-17 is so important to us, yet we disregard what Jesus said four verses later? Peter asked, “’Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times but seventy-times seven.” Jesus wants us to be forgiving people. The previous verses weren’t designed to give us authority to go and complain about every little thing someone did to us—quite the contrary, we are to forgive people over and over for little offenses of personality clashes. When we go to someone, it should be with a humble and loving heart and spirit. I’m sure Jesus cringes when Christians pettily cry out things like “Pastor, you ignored me!” Even worse, imagine his disgust when the same Christian tells others, “Pastor walked right by me and didn’t even smile.”

Jesus was trying to tell the Christian community to be a forgiving community. Let’s strive to do that. Let’s strive to forgive and to release hurts to the Lord. When necessary, go to your brother or sister with a humble heart and talk over differences that need to be resolved. And when you get an e-mail that feels “cold,” give that person a call—often you will find there was no insult intended.